The Economist Does Its Thing

and aren't we proud of all of them

I do hope the snide irony of this Economist column written by “Bartleby” is apparent in the headline.

Melville’s eponymous scrivener literally dies on the vine of his dreary office clerk job. And here “he” is telling us we all should do just the same. Except not really. And it’s this elision that really sets the Economist apart from, well, none of the other neoliberal rags it towards which it ever-so-desperately holds a pretence of superiority.

The second and third paragraphs are all we require:

Some simply won’t quit. Giorgio Armani refuses to relinquish his role as chief executive of his fashion house at the age of 89. Being Italy’s second-richest man has not dampened his work ethic. Charlie Munger, Warren Buffett’s sidekick at Berkshire Hathaway, worked for the investment powerhouse until he died late last year at the age of 99. Mr Buffett himself is going strong at 93.

People like Messrs Armani, Buffett or Munger are exceptional. But in remaining professionally active into what would historically be considered dotage, they are not unique. One poll this year found that almost one in three Americans say they may never retire. The majority of the nevers said they could not afford to give up a full-time job, especially when inflation was eating into an already measly Social Security cheque. But suppose you are one of the lucky ones who can choose to step aside. Should you do it?

Notice the entirely unsubtle two-step? The majority can’t retire. Of course those are not the people the Economist is concerned with. Ever.

The Economist is notorious for never providing bylines for the anonymous scribblers who produce their dolorous neoliberal dogma. They write as a Borg-cube of British elite financial-class bootlickers. And when they do provide a name for a column it’s consciously intended to elicit the distanced ironic sneer and/or elitist pose of an in-reality dying nation’s poseur upper class. The one thing the vast majority of the contemporary British upper class is known for is being utterly useless twats with severe Effete Affectation Disorder. Look it up, I just added it to the DSM-XXX.

These anonymous writers are themselves infinitely replaceable. AI will be doing most of their jobs relatively soon. All DeepSeek needs is the ready library of the previous decade’s worth of Economist articles and a simple prompt and articles like this write themselves. A little tidying here and there and “the Economist” can cut its staff by, I’d hazard, 80-90%. Gotta economize.

Which is all to say fuck you Economist and fuck your little scribblers who do the lackey work for a delusional and dying gaggle of useless snobs. Sure, a lot of us toil away for these cretins. It’s hard to get by without a corporate or corporate-adjacent job for most of us. That doesn’t mean we admire them or desperately climb the greasy pole up to the magnificent heights of The Economist just so we can push their latest propaganda line.

You’re the ones who will die at your desks or perhaps, even worse than Bartleby, in the street. After all these decades you spent justifying the importation of millions of Muslim maniacs, well, they aren’t going to kill themselves. They’re going to kill you.

And unlike poor Bartleby you’ll deserve it.